Dear Mr. President

Dear Mr. President,

I read recently that your administration is looking into the possibility of assisting those Americans who are facing retirement and may not know how to manage their money and life savings. I understand that discussions are currently underway to allow them to have government managed access to their money on an annuity basis, thus guaranteeing that they will not run out of said money for their remaining life expectancy. We have to protect them from themselves! And, through your managed money program, and the new health care reform, I’m sure the Federal Government will do all that they can to ensure that they are provided for for as long as they live.

The details are here if you haven’t read it yet, and if you have the time. And here. Oh, and here, again if you have the time. That last one is really informative!

So, in an effort to be a good citizen, and an acknowledgment that “shared sacrifice” is a necessity, I pledge here and now to relinquish 90% of my current retirement savings to the community revenue pool just as soon as you and the majority of Congress do the same. Now, I know that my $18.00 isn’t the same dollar amount as what yours will be, but as long as the percentage is the same, everybody gets treated fairly and nobody can complain about different tax rates for the rich, or tax loop holes or any other of those unfair practices that have pervaded American (or is that american?) society for a century or more. Those unfair, racist practices of personal freedom, personal responsibility and property, i.e., personal reward, have contributed to our currently fractured societal structure. Why, do you know how many poor people there are in this country? It is a shame that such a very great divide exists between our haves and our have nots. Wouldn’t it be nice if somebody could maybe pass a law, or several that would ensure that choices and outcomes and all those other inconveniences that affect each of our lives could all be the same?

I wish the amount I’m giving could be more, simply because it is part of my nature to want to help those in need; must be part of my rural, mid-west upbringing. All those years of going to church, must have been at least 20 of them, and hearing the pastor say that was the right thing to do, and actually watching him and the church do it! That was pretty amazing to see how that man could control his audience and coerce them into doing what he wanted.

I do wish it could be more, but, things have been a little tighter than usual at our house, trying to keep the house, and keep other bills paid, and my wife getting laid off a couple years ago. She is doing her part, too, though. She is attempting to get her own business up and running and help spur the sluggish economy with at least one new job. Unfortunately, we’ve had to pull several thousand dollars out of our savings to keep food on the table and do some other things. Kids feet keep growing, you know. I’m sure you understand, with two beautiful little girls in the house.

Do they like clothes as much as my daughter does? What’s up with that?!! Have you had to threaten to take their cell phones away yet? I mean, how much texting can one person do on a cell phone in a month’s time?

Sorry, got sidetracked there. Anyway, we’re onboard with the shared sacrifice idea. We haven’t taken a vacation the last couple of years because we might have to borrow some money from someone else to do so, and, not wanting to short shrift anyone else in these trying times, we’ve foregone most of those selfish, personal pleasures. Why should we get a vacation when there are other souls who are wondering how to put food on their table is kind of how we look at things.

Well, sir, I know you are very busy running the world, and I don’t want to monopolize too much of your time. But, if you could let me know when would be a good time to cut that check for the $18.00, or have one of your many aides let me know, I would appreciate it so that I can solidify my feel good feelings and know that other people are getting what they deserve in these difficult times.

Oh… I have just one more question and I promise not to bother you anymore. I really do appreciate you spending so much of your valuable time with just me today. Is it still permissible for me to dig a few holes in my backyard? I want to plant a few coffee cans and see if anything grows.