A Modest Proposal for the Solution of Continuing Islamist Outrage and Violence Throughout the Middle East and for Making the World a Safer Place

There is hardly a soul in the modern world who has not heard by now of the outbreak of violence in various countries in sundry parts of the world, spawned, the American public is told and supported by as many facts as can be manufactured by a clever administration and a compliant press, by a video so heinous, so reprehensible its contents dare not be discussed let alone viewed lest the viewer be incited to great destructive fits and uncontrollable rage. According to the illustrious head of our Executive Branch these continuing outbursts we have recently witnessed are perfectly natural, given the diabolical insidiousness to be found within these dancing electrons and pixel patterns reproduced on monitors, too easily accessible for sensitive beings.

He and his vaunted Secretary of State have apologized repeatedly for the temerity of the American people to believe that Freedom of Speech is a constitutionally guaranteed right, but to no avail. The rage rages on forcing additional security, and in some cases the closing—temporarily, one might hope—of certain embassies altogether. Obviously, those involved are too angered to hear the apology. Or perhaps the apology was too late. Or too early. Or, it may be that in the converting from English to Farsi, or any other of the dialects spoken in that part of the world, that the apology from the World Healer and the Calmer of the Oceans loses something in the translation.

For whatever reason, the fires continue to burn.

This brings us to my proposal

In which a variant of the Reagan strategy is employed, potentially to great effect.

The Soviet Union collapsed under the presidency of Ronald Reagan. The most widely attributed reason for this collapse is that Reagan simply outspent them, causing the communist bloc to implode.

The same method can be utilized again to overcome the challenges we currently face from those in the Arabic world who want nothing more than to see this country destroyed and Shariah Law imposed here and the Great Caliphate established world wide, once again.

Except the coinage of this particular arms race is outrage rather than dollars, which has the additional benefit of not placing a greater burden on the backs of the American people what with the exorbitant national debt they are already carrying. It would also appear that there is enough outrage from the other side in these matters that we would be required to expend very little of our own, providing an unlooked for health benefit in addition to the savings for the treasury.

My proposal is simplicity itself. As a martial arts expert is trained to use his or her opponent’s momentum and attacks against them, our policy toward those bent on subverting the infidels to their all encompassing socio-religio-political narrative of the world should be to provoke it. Antagonize them. Give them an unending stream of inflammatory, offensive issues.

Keep them so busy protesting and rioting and chanting "Death to America" in their streets that they have time for nothing else. When one crisis begins to subside, spawn another one. Or multiples. Let them destroy their countries from the inside out until the people in those respective countries can stand no more and have had enough and take to the streets in fury against them.

If one low-budget film is good for a week, I say we make 60 films and release one every 24 hours. A few million dollars should buy world-wide advertising at the most prime times and locations. Based on recent press conferences and news releases, YouTube must be so universal, so notably prolific, that we may able to save even those advertising dollars as well and make effective, repetitive use of free technology.

Use Psy-ops, rumor, innuendo, and what appears to be the most effective of all methods… cartoons. Every freedom loving American should take up sketching as a hobby and our subject should be The Prophet (PBUH).

[Aside: Why isn’t that phrase PIFH… peace issues from him?]

We should all take to blogspot.google.com and create our own blogs, post our sketches, critique them and post the revisions.

A flame that burns too large and too rapidly will burn itself out. Time to fight fire with fire and fan the flames of outrage. Maybe we can get a brief, roaring bonfire and make marshmallow sculptures of the peace warrior.

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